Jesus wants me to hang on His every word, fully trusting in His promises and provision.

I have a confession to make.

The more I struggle to slow down and just be, the more I notice the sense of self-worth and “peace” I feel when I am being productive. The rush of satisfaction I get after checking a dozen tasks off of my to-do list (especially when someone else notices) is second to none. I finally feel like I have earned the right to slow down and relax…for just a little while at least.

When I am not doing something productive, I start to feel antsy and lazy. My mind starts running a mile a minute to come up with something for me to do. I get the anxious and irrational thought that if I don’t finish everything now, I won’t have time for it later and it will never get done.

I chase productivity for the peace and sense of accomplishment it brings me. But it is false peace because it never lasts.

And then I start thinking about the bills and student loans I need to pay, the renovations my husband and I want to make on the little fixer upper we just bought, and my desire to travel and visit my family more often.

As much as I know the Lord wants me to put all my trust in His promises and provision, I still find it difficult to stop thinking of ideas for a side hustle or small business to make some extra money.

Time and time again the Lord brings me back and reminds me to just rest and trust that He will provide.

Why is it so hard to be like Mary?

In Luke 10:38-42, when Jesus told Martha to stop worrying, she was busy making food for guests in her home. This certainly seems like something that needs to be done, right? Otherwise, everyone will go hungry!

But Jesus takes a radical approach to rest. While I could make a really good argument for why so many things need to be done, Jesus would likely tell me it is nothing to worry about, it isn’t essential, and to let it go. And if I’m being honest, it’s a little maddening! Because…how?!

“Come to Me, and I will give you rest,” He says in Matthew 11:28, and “Don’t worry, seek Me, and all these things will be added unto you” in Matthew 6:33.

I know the Bible also says we need to work, but I believe the Lord is more concerned with my heart than how productive I am.

When I do work, He wants me to work from rest, not occasionally rest from [over]work.

He wants my heart to be at peace and fully trusting in His promises and provision. He tells me to stop worrying and doing all the time because He wants me to be free to sit at His feet and hang on His every word.

He wants me to believe Him when He says the Father will care for me.

Lord, help me break free from this Martha-mentality and be like Mary. Help me to trust You completely and truly rest at Your feet. I can’t rest without You.