My flesh also will rest in hope.

Yesterday, this question popped into my head:

Did God heal me from Crohn’s disease, or did knowing Him set me free from fear?

Leading up to the diagnosis of Crohn’s disease, I suffered from gradually worsening depression and anxiety, and gradually worsening symptoms of Crohn’s disease.

The state of my heart and mind seemed to directly correlate with the state of my physical body, and sadness and fear manifested as Crohn’s disease.

What was causing my near-constant depression and anxiety?

What people thought about me, feeling like a failure, not being enough, the news, being single forever, social interaction, my physical appearance, thinking no one would care if I died…it was never-ending.

After twelve years, I was ready to give up. Nothing I did–yoga, meditation, journaling, therapy–was helping me find peace and joy. I felt trapped under a dark cloud that would not clear.

At eighteen, I had turned away from God, and at thirty, He was the only hope I had left.

So, I decided to turn back to Him, and I found that He had been right there all along, waiting, tugging at my heart.

Almost immediately after I began reading the Bible, listening to the old Christian music I loved as a kid, and praying, things began to change. The Holy Spirit began His good work in me.

Old sinful habits began to fall away, dark and anxious emotions began to lift, and I was experiencing joy and freedom I had never felt before.

Then I met a friend who shared the truth with me about God’s will to heal me and that miracles are still possible today, and I finally knew my dream of being healthy and whole was going to become a reality.

I had the confidence to eat foods I had been afraid of for so long, and I was finally healing. No medication, no surgeries, no more debilitating flare-ups, just healing.

I was finally free.

Knowing God personally–and believing He is who He says He is–healed me, set me free from fear, gave me abundant joy, and made it possible for me to live eternal life now.

“Eternal life is knowing God.” -John 17:3

No longer a slave to fear, I began to see myself the way He sees me and live as a healthy, whole, dearly loved daughter of the Most High God.

He is faithful, kind, and trustworthy. He is my Healer, Protector, and Lover of my soul. He will never leave me or forsake me. He sent His Son to set me free from sin and its effects of anxiety, depression, and sickness. By the stripes of Jesus, I was healed (Isaiah 53:5), and I am free.

The One True Living God is my Best Friend, how can I not be fearless?

Many are the afflictions of the righteous,

But the Lord delivers him out of them all. — Psalm 34:19

Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;

My flesh also will rest in hope.

For You will not leave my soul in Sheol,

Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.

You will show me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. -Psalm 16:9–11